January Blues

The January Blues have officially hit me this week and I cannot quiet figure out why. So now nicely full up with a delightful Sunday Roast and considering the best time to eat my Lemon Tart I’m going to try and figure out why by typing a little rant! Let’s see were this takes us.

This is perhaps the most accurate
representation of me ever 

These past couple of weeks I have been quiet content in my own company; to be honest I think that’s when I’ve been most happy. Now that is all fine and dandy for a couple of days, everyone needs some ‘me’ time but, I do not consider that to be healthy for any longer.

I’ve been feeling sorry for myself, firstly because I have been experiencing a serious case- of a cough and cold. Now I’m not one to over-react (I am a hundred percent a drama queen) but, this seriously took the life and soul out of me! Last Sunday I had three naps- that is not normal! I also had a mock to revise for, making me realise that I’m in deep doggy do-do currently in terms of the information I have actually retained for my exams.  This was all topped off with me just feeling lost and very hormonal (being ill and hormonal are not a good mix trust me.) All of the above put me in a poor mood and made me realise that there has actually been a bigger problem, I’ve been feeling lost and lonely.

Here is a little overview of my friendships… basically I have two set of friends. My initial friends from Secondary School and then my ‘new’ Sixth Form friends. My Secondary School Friends and I have been inseparable since year 7 but, all five of us went to different sixth forms. But, we’ve all stayed super close; thanks to the power of a group of chat and meet up regularly like the sophisticated gals we are for coffee (hot chocolate) for a good old catch up. We all live about an hour away from each other, with the majority of them having Saturday jobs or boyfriends. This means organising when to meet up is often a challenge and our time together often lacks that fun and childish laughter that we used to experience every single day at school. I feel as though they have all grown up quicker than me, actually perhaps it’s not even that- they are just experiencing different things at the moment. I stayed at the same school for Sixth form, whereas they all flew the nest, meaning completely new friends and surroundings. They are also all 18, when I’m sadly 17, being the baby of the group with my birthday being in July (I expect gifts) this means I’m missing out on going to the pub and am yet to pass my driving test unlike my pals. They are also romancing numerous boys whereas, I’m firmly stuck in ‘the strong independent women’ zone because I am surrounded by boys (maybe I should call them men) whom I’ve known for 7 years, meaning I’ve seen the good and bad of all of them. In essence I’m kind of feeling left out!  

Then I have my new set of friends who are just as mad, crazy and beautiful as my older chums. I get to see them every day so therefore experience the highs and lows of everyday life with them still. But recently I have felt distant from them as well. Sadly I’m not going on a girls holiday with them as I’m going with my old chums (I went to Reading Festival with my ‘new’ friends so it kind of works itself out) so while they chat and organise their activities I just feel left out. It doesn’t help that one of them seems to be wondering off and isolating herself from the group. She’s been in a relationship for three years but, suddenly seems to be spending all of her time with him. Surprisingly even though I see these people every single day, I feel as I never speak to them, making me realise how important communication truly is in a relationship.

So I’ve finally realised that these are my life woes! I know there not much but, it’s made me realise I should probably discuss this with some of my friends before I end up a crying in a little ball in the corner. However, I know I’m not going to tell them how I feel and shall ignore the problem like the true British person I am but, sharing it with the inter-web shall be the next best thing hey!

Peace Out My Lovelies xxx